Dolphins Spotted on Land! by H.S.

A family in Port Stephens, Australia spotted dolphins resting on land, with lush green verdure sprouting out of its nare (blowhole)!

Scientist Claudia Cloeman states that she has never seen anything like it before! In an interview with Claudia she states that “this challenges everything we thought we once knew about aquatic animals, especially cetaceans.” She claims that she had been researching this topic for a while, and this only confirms her theory more.

Scientists are currently performing tests to confirm this theory. They believe that dolphins might not actually need their nares to take in oxygen but actually take in oxygen through their rostrum. Interestingly enough scientists believe that the dolphins brains have just the right nutrients to help a plant grow. 

The specific substance pentadecanoic acid in their brains that supports cellular health and contributes to aging in a healthy manner. This substance also happens to have the right nutrients to help a plant grow. 

Who knew that dolphins were actually land mammals that could grow plants out of their blowhole!?

Teleporting tupperware lids by AR

Breaking news, your missing tupperware lids have been found! The lids have a hidden superpower that no one knew about! Teleportation! Your missing lids were found in the local sewers. The FBI looked everywhere and...they found millions of lids in the sewers! Call the FBI for your lost lid.

The goat is the G.O.A.T. by AR

A goat from a local farm becomes the G.O.A.T. at skateboarding. The goat is named Tony (coincidence? I think not.) He escaped the farm and ended up at a teenage skatepark. The teen boys thought it would be funny to see what the goat would do if given a skateboard, so Todd (one of the boys) gave it to him. Tony did a Nollie Gazelle Heelflip which is one of the most advanced tricks in the entirety of skateboarding. Nick (a different boy) caught it on camera. So overnight Tony goat became the best skateboarder in the world not even superior to Tony Hawk. Tony now goes by Tony the G.O.A.T.!

Candy houses found in forest!!! Could the story of Hansel and Gretel be true?! by KK

A couple had discovered a village full of gingerbread cottages. They were on a nature hike when they smelled a sweet scent, curious where the sweet scent came from, they decided to follow the scent as they were interested in what they could find. They kept looking until they knew they had found something. But what they had found was unbelievable, a village made of real life gingerbread houses! The couple were very amazed. Soon there were news reporters who were filing in to have a good look, ”How is this possible!” one reporter exclaimed. Then the village was investigated with private investigators, the houses looked mostly new, but there was one house that actually looked quite old, it had a large pot,t hat actually looked like a cauldron, but the worst part was that it had moldy bones in the pot, it also had a small cage in the back of the room the rest of the house was just old decayed furniture. Could it be possible that it had something to do with the story of Hansel and Gretel? We might never know, but for now all we can do is guess.

Horses run the U.S. government!!!!!! Is President Trump secretly a horse?!??? by AV

Something that a social media influencer posted triggered the FBI to search the White House for any sign of Trump acting like a horse. They searched throughout the entire estate, but did not find anything until they requested to search Trump’s room. During the search, they found a pile of notebooks and diaries. They flipped through the pages of every single one and found nothing until the most recent notebook. Trump wrote, “Neigh, neigh, I want to eat hay all day!!!” Well that pretty much gave it away and now law enforcement, the CIA, and the FBI are discussing how to deal with the situation. What will our nation do now with a horse as our president? Are other government officials horses too?

Donald Trump Abducted by Aliens!!!!! by AR

Today, Donald Trump the current president got abducted by aliens. He infuriated them by saying they didn't belong here. On some accord he was right, those aliens belong on Junilation, the newly discovered planet!

Trump's secretary was a witness. He said (while trembling) that they were orange and had 7 eyes all along their stomachs. He described a scene where the aliens took off with Trump, probably going back to their home planet Junilation.

Bunnies Are Taking Over The Whole World! by LM

This is a disaster; beware of the bunnies taking over the whole world, France has already been destroyed and we believe they are planning on attacking China next so do not go to China no matter what!

This month we have seen many bunnies sneaking around and plotting out their next attacks. France has fallen and the few people who escaped are going to the moon. In the next two weeks we are planning on all going to the moon. Make sure to be armed whenever you see a bunny, or you could be eaten by a bunny. This is not good for us.